New Year’s Resolutions… In One Year and Out The Next
That’s about the level of confidence that most people have when it comes to setting resolutions. At the beginning of each year people get serious and vow to do whatever it takes to loose the weight, to work less hours, to make more money. They even go so far as setting S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-specific) to convenience themselves that this time this resolution will be different. And all they are really doing is setting themselves up for failure. That is the essence of a resolution – an empty promise disguised with goals and accountability.
Yes it is important to set clear intentions and desires. Yes it is important to break them down into SMART goals. Yes it is imperative to have accountability. All of this is true. So what is it that makes resolutions empty? The inner commitment; the spark. When you haven’t located that inner commitment, it won’t matter how good your goals are or how solid your plan is, the promise is still empty.
So how do you add in the spark, the deep, inner commitment?
- Get clear on what you want. (That is the resolution part)
- Get clear on why it is important to you.
- Ask yourself, “what will my life be like when I obtain this?”
These first three steps are often the process a person goes through when stating New Year’s resolutions. It’s the rest of this equation that locates the spark.
- Ask yourself, “What is it costing me to continue in default mode as my life/business is right now?”
- “How is my current default mode working for me so far?”
Your answer to step #4 is where you locate the inner commitment to determine how serious you will be about your resolution. It is in your answer to step #5 that you will then determine if you are falling into Law of Ambivalence. It is also where you will gain clarity as to what you are truly committed to. The Law of Ambivalence is the state in which something is not really good in our lives, but it is not yet bad enough for us to do anything about it. Typically if we find ourselves in the state of ambivalence it is because we are more committed to something else then our stated resolution.
For example a client of mine was starting her coaching business and having a difficult time getting the results she wanted. When we looked at her current results they indicated she was more committed to things being easy then things being successful. When the daily business activities would present themselves to her and she had a choice, she would choose ease over success; this is the danger zone of ambivalence. You learn how to tolerate the default status quo of your life and don’t tap into your inner commitment to really get the results that you want. So what are the resolutions you have set for your coaching business? Are you falling into the trap of ambivalence? Have you located your Spark?
Either with yourself, a peer-coaching buddy or with your own coach, go through the 5 steps above to locate your spark inside your New Year’s Resolutions and stop them from going in one year and out the next.
